My Spooky Life as a Ghost (writer)
I’ve always had a thing for ghost stories. Sitting around a crackling bonfire, hands sticky with marshmallow goo, cautiously peering off into the darkness and wondering, was that uncanny noise just an owl? A bullfrog? Or something much more sinister lurking in the woods? As a child, whenever we visited the library I’d beeline straight to the spirituality section. The “Haunted Canada” series was a staple in my reading diet from grades 3–6. I even convinced my poor parents to drive me around an abandoned psychiatric hospital once, all so I could try snap a photo of plasma following local reports of ghost sightings.
Yeah, I was a weird kid.
And yes, I’ve loved ghosts for a long time. So really, it shouldn’t have been that surprising to everyone when I became one myself.
“Wait. Huh? Are you seriously claiming to be a ghost?”
Well…sort of. I’m a ghostwriter. That means I write books, blog posts, press releases, etc. and then someone pays me to put their name on the content. I chose this job because:
a) I’m a damn good writer
b) Ghostwriting can be very lucrative
In addition to writing my own content, I also write books for other people. Then they publish the work under their name (not mine). In essence, I am an invisible entity who hovers over the keyboard and summons a manuscript to life, but is never actually given public recognition for my efforts.
The real question: Why would anyone choose to do such a bizarre thing?
One word, dear reader — money.
Let’s face it, earning an income as a writer is difficult. It was challenging way back in 1818 when Mary Shelley penned her cult classic “Frankenstein” and it’s still a tough nut to crack in 2021. According to a survey done by the Guardian, the average self-published author makes under $1000 per year. And so, as much as I adore concocting my own little fairy tales, the reality is most writers never see a dollar amount representative of the actual time and effort they put into writing their masterpiece. On the other hand, a talented ghostwriter can expect to earn a ballpark figure of between $100 — $2,000+ on just one standalone eBook! Hammer out two or three books per month, and it’s a nice little side income.
“So you just…like…float around writing stuff?”
Not exactly. A day in the life of a ghostwriter varies. For me, it begins with a cup of coffee at 5am. I check emails, reply to inbox messages on Fiverr, scan my stats, and then make a list of what projects need to be prioritized. At any one time, I can have three to seven clients on the go, therefore staying organized is a must! This is where a good calendar comes in handy. Since I’m a bit of an OCD ghost, my notes are all colour coded. Red for “Due Soon!” Blue for “New Project.” Green for “Touch Base About Deadline.” And so on and so forth.
Next, I walk the dog. This is an essential step. Fresh air helps clear my mind and also gives me time to formulate a plan of attack for confronting big tasks. After that, it’s off to my 9–5 job in the book realm.
To be clear, my life as a ghostwriter isn’t glamorous. I do this very much part-time. Like any true ghost, I tend to emerge only at night. As mentioned, many of us pen wielding phantoms also work in the “real world.” When everyone else is asleep, you will often find ghostwriters haunting their laptops. That’s because ghostwriting requires the ability to meet tight deadlines. It’s all about long evenings and early mornings. Back and forth emails from clients is the norm. Outlining, planning, writing, editing, proofreading, and rewriting again…a never-ending cycle until that rough copy finally sparkles like a diamond.
Some say ghostwriters are a crazy bunch. Maybe we are. I do believe you have to be at least a little peculiar in order to take on this kind of labour willingly. Being a ghostwriter isn’t for the faint of heart! But the reward of seeing a book you worked on get published? Worth every sleepless night. Personally, I wouldn’t trade my spooky side hustle for anything.
